Too Fat For Rock & Roll

by Toby Danger

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lyrics

It used to be simple
To rock out on the stage
I was young and nimble
Though I was husky for my age
When I take my shirt off
The fans and groupies gag
Cause it looks like oatmeal
Trapped inside a ziplock bag

Sex, drugs, and rock and roll
And the highway to Hell
But I'd rather sell my soul
For a trip to Taco Bell

It's not a question now
I'm too fat for rock and roll
I should probably just
Work on my health
And it's not easy
Living life out on the road
When you're bigger than
The bus itself

I'm too fat for rock and roll

I've done pilates
In the hopes of slimming down
Yoga and jazzercise
But I still look like a cow
There's never room for people
To come and see my shows
Cause my belly by itself
Takes up the first three rows

My doctor says that
I should probably slow down
And all the KFCs close down
When I'm in town

It's not a question now
I'm too fat for rock and roll
Keep getting winded
When I sing
And all my guitar picks
Are trapped down in my folds
Along with several
Chicken wings

I'm too fat for rock and roll

It's not a question now
I'm too fat for rock and roll
Make Burger King
Give up his crown
And all my band mates say
That I'm out of control
The stage would break
If I fell down

I'm too fat for rock and roll

credits

released September 29, 2022
Written and Performed by Toby Danger

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about

Toby Danger Akron, Ohio

Toby Danger is the universe's answer to the question - what if Weird Al had learned guitar instead of accordion?

Toby Danger is the illegitimate love child of rock and roll and comedy, a smorgasbord of guitar riffs and jokes and songs about getting old (30 is old, right?) and fat.

These three dads heard the call to rock and the shows are big, loud, and usually way past a reasonable bed time. ... more